A Simple Pet Peeve

It was a dark and stormy night as Jake looked out his window in a luxurious modern condo in downtown Chicago.  he knew he had some unfinished business with certain employees, but first he had to find the strength within himself to look in the mirror knowing that what he was about to get involved in would change his life and the lives of each family in his building, and for their part in this scenario they would not be rewarded.   AAAAAHHHHHH

K really, I hate reading books that start with 'It was a dark and stormy night' and yet so many people decide that since this intro worked once maybe twice in all history of fiction, this must be the way to get people drawn into a book.  Guess what, it's not.  So many people like dark and stormy nights, not for the fear they strike in people, but for the wonder of the weather phenomena that is occurring out side their double paned windows.  This may be from time to time the right way to jump from one scene in a horror movie to the next but please for the love of all that is suspense writing stop trying to get me interested in your book by explaining that Jake was in his million dollar condo while it was storming, I know it's just your way of linking the natural weather with what is happening in Jakes mind and spirit, but stop it.  We know from this intro paragraph alone that Jake is either going to blow up his building or do something equally nefarious but really why give it all way on page one, now it's time to skip ahead 200 pages and read the last 3 chapters when all the action takes place and prove that my theory was right.  These books I will not enjoy, I may attempt to trudge through them but I will not enjoy them.

I am an avid reader and tend to get through a book quickly if I enjoy it, since my last post I've started into 3 books and I am doing well with them, but what they contain is true mystery, the story is not given away in chapter one, I don't meet all the characters until the book is completed, and my interest isn't even peaked until half way through when all of a sudden I want to finish the book that day.

I may not be a professional critic, but I do know what I like, and hopefully I speak for a lot of people when I say I want a book I can sit down with and read through it with a sense of accomplishment and maybe even an inkling of pleasure in my mind that what I am reading is quite possibly the next treasure of fiction novels.  So lets all try to lay off the cliches and 'old time favorite' quotes, this will get readers to promote your book to others.

Sorry if I seem to be venting, but as an aspiring author/teacher/poet or whatever I am at this point, I look for books that grab my attention from page one, not finish the story for me right away.  My solution?  Get me guessing on who 'Jake is and what his mind set is, what it is he wants to accomplish, good or evil, and make me turn the pages not shut it all together.  Here's my alternate first paragraph to the one I made up at the beginning of this post.

Jake walked into his living room inside his downtown Chicago condo with business decisions and life situations weighing heavily on his mind, yet he couldn't get Mildred out of his mind.  Mildred was his neighbor, a petite lady with European ancestors, who on seeing Jake always made him feel welcome and cared for, once even taking care of his cat while he was out of town to see family.  Mildred was sweet, and this only made the Jakes mind swell with anguish and he could feel his heart begin to pick up pace, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, and what he experienced next came as a surprise to him.  The generally stoic Jake, had a flash of emotion, for this employees, his neighbors and for the people of the greater Chicago area.  This year, more to the fact, this month would prove to be a changing point in the way things were evaluated and accomplished.  Politically, religiously, financially and emotionally, this would be a turning point for all mankind.  And Jake was the center point of it all.

Here's what this paragraph does for me.  Jake is the center point of what, why is he generally Stoic (tell me about his childhood and early adulthood), why is he having an emotional break for Mildred, his neighbors, employees and people of his city?  What will change in the coming month?  How did he get where he is, what is going through his mind?  Even though I wrote the paragraph, I have so many questions about it and a desire to learn more about Jake and what decisions he has to make.

That's my rant, next time I promise to not be so critical...... maybe