Where are all the men?

Remember what it was like when we were young, the people we watched on television, the ones that our parents so subtly told us to do everything we could to not be like them, and then the others that we were told we should try to emulate?  Can you recall trying your best to talk like your role models, to look like your heros?  In some form those moments still exist, parents still have conversation with their children that is governed by modern media and the people we see as the most influential 'celebrities and viral all stars'.  Music has mainstreamed a generation of people who want to live at home as one person and be a 'rock star' every where else, think Miley Cyrus in her younger years.  Nickleback even wrote a song that captures the true heart of the matter, we have surrendered much of our lives to the lust of the flesh and have garnered a lot of negative attention in the process, wanting to have the next big thing, all the popular gadgets and material possessions and possibly even the 'eye candy' and 'trophies' on our arms.  Yet in all of this, I am not as angered as I have been with the way men have been portrayed and made examples of over the last few years.

Journey with me over the coming paragraphs and try to grasp what I am struggling with, where my apathy to advertisers has come from and why I feel the need to start a revolution towards rebuilding the male gender to who we should be.  Ladies I encourage you to read along as well, and join in the process with encouragement and growth.  Let's go.

Growing up I had a few hero's in my life, people I really wanted to be like.  I followed the life of the typical role models, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Wayne Gretzky, Tony Hawk, Lawrence Taylor the people that pop culture made out to be the top of the ladder for young men to idolize.  What has become apparent in the many years since my tenth birthday, is that I was possibly following the wrong men.  These names along with many others presented great personalities in front of television cameras and microphones, but with the exception of 'the great one' all have failed to remain the men they claimed to be.  Each had a great life and did wonderful things, but they have also since fell quickly down the ladder by some terrible choices in family and personal life.

I have come to grips with the reality that today's role models in pop culture and all things media are very much the same, living a great life in front of the camera, but making questionable decisions in their personal lives.  Think A-Rod, Tiger Woods, Ben Roethlisberger, Mel Gibson, Eminem, Usher and the list can carry page after page of names.  These are the men we are turning our young boys towards and saying, be like him, he's a MAN'S MAN.  We disregard the turmoil that each one goes through on the sidelines of life, neglecting the issues they represent, all for who they are in the spotlight.  But I refuse to allow my young boys to be polluted in a way that would turn them to make inappropriate life choices, decisions that would leave them in the gutter begging to have a second chance, instead I am deciding to not only be a man that my boys can look up to and emulate, but I am going to surround myself with this type of man, creating in my household a generation of character, trust integrity and honesty, men who will stand for their beliefs, their faith and their family.  I choose to give my boys the best chance at succeeding as men that I can possibly create, to allow them to be the kind of man their children will want to look up to and emulate.

Yet this is not even the start of the issues I have begun to wrestle with, remember my words as I crafted an introduction to this topic - the way men are portrayed and made examples of, in this lies what has become my biggest concern.  The truth is I can help my boys and others by pointing them to good proper role models, but I can not halt the onslaught of media telling them to act a certain way by doing anything less then moving to the mountains and avoiding all outside contact, which I refuse to do.  Confused?  Allow me to pick it apart for you and hopefully it will help.

A couple of years ago a certain advertising series began with the what was intended to be a humorous look at married life, from this series came a line that drove a dagger into my frontal cortex and began twisting it violently until I was lost with who I should be, the line "Shut up Steve".  Perhaps you remember this commercial that ran throughout North America and still runs to this day, promoting the health benefits of the cereal and yet beginning a downward spiral of advertisements that created an atmosphere of stench around the male gender.  No ladies I am not saying down with the movement of powerful women, you deserve where you have gotten and I applaud you for it, hear me out then cast your stones.

Men are not stupid, we may say things that are deemed as moronic but that does not hold true to our entire personality.  Somehow advertisers have cast a shadow on us pushing us into a corner with one escape and that is to cave to who they have made us.  Even in the midst of the women's rights and liberalism movements and elevating females to a higher role then they had 50 years ago, they still wanted and want a man who could be strong, stand for his family, protect them, provide and be full of character, to be a man's man, make his own decisions, have integrity in life's toughest moments.  Now we are told to 'get girl approved hair' and eat your vegetables or someone will slap you on the forehead.  Ladies, do you really want your man to come to you every day and say, 'Honey can you do my hair and pick out something for me to wear today'?  And while were on the subject can you help me make proper decisions on food, cologne, foot wear, music, my friends and where to spend my allowance.

This is what we are bombarded with everyday, a constant, do it this way or else type of mentality.  The absolute worst part of it all, we are repeating these tag lines to ourselves, removing self worth and self respect, destroying our standing as head of the house and making a mockery of who our ancestors were.  I hate it when I see men laughing at the advertisements, as if saying 'if I laugh no one will know how insecure I am that I have become that person, hahahahahahaha' STOP IT, I see right through you!

The only hope of a salvation that my gender has tried to grab onto is an ex NFLer who states 'your man can smell like me, and not a girl'.  Bravo, at least it's entertaining, if not some what effective.  What's wrong with making a name for yourself, stating, I will be strong, I will be a great husband, an amazing father and a stand up employee/employer.  I will make a difference in this world that goes beyond opening the door for the elderly and paying for someone's coffee, I will help this society to become better by being a man.  Stop looking to the people that are supposed to be our children's role models and start being one yourself, then one day I can look and say, Thank God for all the men.

Finalization of a misunderstood truth

I have been contemplating ending this second attempt at blogging, for no other reason then my lack of motivation.  For months I have had the thought that I just am not motivated enough to work through the process of recording my thoughts on a medium that can be read universally and that in this process I need to involve my imagination, which may or may not be slowly falling to the side of my brain that I apparently incorporate in daily life only once a week if that often.

However, I have come to discover that this is not the truth.  Over the past few days, perhaps weeks I have been meditating on the thought of my lack of motivation for writing, not just here but everywhere, no more attempted poetry, no more study journals on books I am reading, no more brief notes or journal entries on life happenings, writing has ceased outside of my calling and general work related needs.  Then the epiphany.  I didn't stop writing because of motivation or laziness or even some missing creative spark.  I stopped writing this blog because I became very agitated.  Yes there was a prolonged sickness in the middle of it all, but some where I began to suffer from a state of pure apathy and agitation towards so many different things in life.  Mostly form that point on I discussed my thoughts with my wife and left it at that, because I felt I was just really negative on each subject, like what does this really have to offer to a society that is already hearing a negative approach to so many things.  So I made the decision to just shut up, which of course cause more agitation and a need to vent the putrid lines of filth that was my train of thought.  And again, no blog, no writing of any sort.  I concluded that the lack of my writing here, hurt my style of writing every else, and so I just quit altogether.  As if just remaining silent would help me get past the season of life my brain is in.  But it isn't moving on, I have a need to share my undesirable process of analytical contemplation and put it out where anyone can read it, anyone can critique it and anyone can copy it.

So here it comes world, regardless of how I am feeling in my minds eye at the moment, I will be writing it down.  The coming posts may be negative, they may be critical and they may cause you to become agitated as well.  But I hope they move you to see life in a new light, because we need to see change in the way we view each other and the way we view the world.  Here is your warning, I am loosing my fingers to type what my mind is throwing about like an over inflated beach ball, and sometimes the impact hurts.