OK maybe not specifically those who are still in the womb and yet to be seen by human eyes, except maybe on those freaky 3D ultrasound photos, but they are included in this post. On a more general base I am talking about the children who currently run around our houses and schools, right up to the grade 5 level. These are the individuals that in 20 plus years will be running companies, taking up political office, and will be taking care of their aging parents as we prepare for retirement and hopefully the cottage life.
The upcoming generation is the first in our history that are bombarded with the media image of unhealthy lifestyles being 'normal'. The teenage generation has been introduced to this image, however they were for the most part not introduced to it from birth. Yes many of them grew up with the electronic babysitter but many of them did not see what is being toted about as normal to the current children of our world. Single parent homes, fathers who are not part of the house hold activity, mothers who work midnights so the power company doesn't cut of the hydro, siblings who are losing their hearing from having mp3 players turned too loud. Then looking outside the family unit they are being shown images of high profile celebrities having multiple affairs, going in and out of rehab and prison, music videos with women being degraded as objects and not a person, and the general idea that it's OK to break the rules because it's better to ask forgiveness then it is permission. The trouble with the way we are forming the viewpoints of this new generation is the outcome it will have on their lifestyle when they get to my age.
Yes we will have some very successful people rise up from our children, but we will also see the decline of fundamental beliefs, integrity in the workplace and an overall acceptance of being morally corrupt. Why? Because we are telling them it is standard procedure to be happy with our own lives and discard the desire to help others who are in need.
I recently made a decision to bless a family close to us with some food, a quality staple of a healthy lifestyle, and someone asked me why I would give away what I paid for to help someone in need. Last week I took 15 youth and leaders to a restaurant and after the meal we left a 60% tip for the two waitresses that helped us, and I was asked why I would do something like this. Is this really what we want to teach our children, that we need to always come first and being selfish is the only way to advance in life? I need to be honest, when I am selfless I am satisfied with my life, when I am all about me I feel horrible, like something has been taken away from me. Why would I ever want my three kids to grow up and think that hoarding your belongings in such a way that no one else is allowed access to them is acceptable. I want to teach them that giving is the best way to advance in life, that when you help others be elevated in their lifestyle we can indeed be placed in a level of love and trust that puts us far beyond what any amount of money and possessions can do.
To speak on the appearance of lifestyle I have only a few words, that of course I will expand into a paragraph or two. Deplorable, dysfunctional and generally confusing. How many athletes and celebrities have we recently heard about who have had text messages revealed to the press and it destroys a marriage and a family? How many people in the 'normal' - I say that in quotes because the only difference between us and a celebrity is a few million dollars and a high profile life - walk of life have been found in an affair? This is acceptable? What happens in this situation is very sad, a person takes a sacred act, marriage, and event that is supposed to last until death and they place another person in the middle of it, stating to the children - I just needed more then mom/dad could offer me. No you're just selfish and maybe your communication is that of a 10 year old! We as a society need to stop pressing this image into our children's minds because if we fail at this we will soon see that the outcome will be marriage expectations changing to include affairs - 'open marriage' - and the success rate of a marriage going below 50%. Even the image of single people having all these half dressed women and men around them is detrimental to the growth pattern of a child's life. As a teenager they will use the words "I saw it on TV and in your life so it must be OK for me." Did you know that the average amount of sexual partners for one person 100 years ago was 1.2. Today's number - 7 for men and 9 for women. What this means if we take the current accelerated hormone patterns and the way life is being revealed to our children - sex ed. in grade 5 as opposed to grade 8 20 years ago - our children will have 10-15 sexual partners in their life time.
Here's where the life experience in confusing for our children, we have become a nation that is tolerating more and more, so much so that we cannot stand up for what we believe without being accused of hatred and bigotry. When we as parents can no longer instill in our children what our beliefs are, and hope to raise them according to some moral and social standard then we are failing as a nation and culture to allow every creed and culture to pass on traditions. Our beliefs are not all the same, but we should be allowed to share them, no? The problem is we have taken a stance that says your ways are not acceptable because modern society says we have to live this way and your traditions and 'old school' beliefs are not welcome. Back to the 100 years ago thing - we used to not see women with skirts that didn't do above the ankle, or a blouse that showed any shoulder at all, and men wore hats, and ties, and they worked hard every day where ever they could find work. Now our modern culture says we can wear almost nothing and in some places nothing at all and work is a hobby not a need. I was taught to work hard at anything I did, not to do it half hearted but to give my all, and in school if I failed to complete an assignment I failed it, now we can send our children back with half the work done and not all of that half correct and somehow they pass the assignment. Can you see why I am confused by the way we are moving in bringing up our children?
I don't mean to be negative about this, I just fail to see the positive side in teaching kids it's OK to not try, it's acceptable to sleep around, and it's more then normal to not care about anyone other then ourselves. BUT there is a silver lining, though popular culture says life is progressing the way it should, and all the so called 'bad and evil' is actually good for us, we can still live a life of love and compassion for others, we can work hard as parents and teachers and role models, we can have integrity and character and all of this generation will see it and they will say, I want to be like him or her. Pavel Datsyuk who plays for the Detroit Redwings is known as one of the hardest workers in the NHL. He is first on the ice for the team, often and hour before anyone else and he is frequently the last to leave. He has been awarded multiple Lady Byng awards, 4 consecutive for most gentlemanly player, the only player with more total is Wayne Gretzky, who has 5 but only 2 consecutive. Brooks Laich of the Washington Capitals last year after being eliminated from the playoffs stopped by a car and helped change a flat tire, apologizing to the mother and daughter for not winning the game, and he plays hard in every game, leaving nothing behind. Why do I mention these two, I could mention many others, but I find in them qualities of character that is sorely missing in the everyday walk of life. They exhibit a life style that can be taught to my children and I could be proud of them.
This generation of those who are to come have a great advantage over all who have already walked through life, they will be the first to have the opportunity to effect a change in the way others live, to the extent that it will last. Not just inventions that make life modern and easy to live, they will make a change in the world that will endure the years that try to tear it down. I have often said that my three children will change the world, they will be history makers, please come along side me and speak that into your child's life, tell them they will do great things, raise them to be men and women of high morals, not compromising because it seems to not matter, raise them to have great character and integrity, that they will stand by their promises and not fold. Raise them to care for others and not just themselves. When this is done we will be setting them up for great successes in life, not just half a chance to do something great, but a distinct opportunity to have their names stand in history as people who brought love to a world that so desperately needs it.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
This Generation
I've decided to take the next few days and weeks and write a few posts dedicated to generations. So for the next while you'll be reading my thoughts on the struggles and opportunities of the forthcoming generation and those who are nearing the end of their time, as well as many of those in between. I want to begin with some thoughts and burdens I have centered around our youth generation, those between the ages of 12 and 20. The junior high, senior high and 'pre' young adult age students. The reason and span of these thoughts have taken a long time to join together into a coherent paragraph or two, so if you feel like you are lost in the accusations, common knowledge and general apathy towards this age group, you're probably not alone. Actually you're definitely not alone. Read along and feel free to respond, I promise this post will get you thinking about your own presuppositions towards our youth generation and culture.
Not long ago I was leaving a coffee shop in my little town when I saw some familiar faces, being the non excitable, completely methodical personality that I am I slowly crossed the street and approached them, with no motive other then to say hi, and no expectation beyond perhaps an awkward glance back toward me and a gesture towards the rest of the group that that guy is a little creepy. Perhaps you know the look, one friend trying to convince another that they have no idea who you are, a little nervous twitch of the eyes, a shrug of the shoulders and a slight groan that is completely incoherent, maybe you have even used the look a few times this month as strange older people have accosted you on the street or in a grocery store. As I opened my mouth to say hello to the two individuals in the group of 6 that I recognized I experienced something that threw me off base and set my mind on a roller coaster ride through specific responses while not finding one that could fit the uttered comment. Before I could form any words in an inviting tone I heard the following 'hey is there youth tonight, cause I want to bring a friend'. When you enter into a situation with a specific expectation of having very limited conversation and the whole realm of your reality is turned from convex to concave it sinks into your mind that what you had imagined was very refined by the way society has come to view this generation. Have I had the instance of limited conversation and needing to make an attempt to get out of awkward silence, yes I have, frequently. But this occasion changed my perspective and my belief in what kind of a culture our youth are surrounding themselves with. Suddenly it became apparent to me that not every person in this age range is decidedly silent to my generation, and they are in fact looking for a positive relationship with any one who is willing to offer it.
This is the reason for my post, we have long read in the "dear editor" section of our newspapers and even seen it on the evening news that this youth generation is being raised improperly, or responding to the nurturing process negatively or they are being so brainwashed by the 'evil things' all around them that their only response is disrespect. I disagree, and possibly not in a respectful manner. The fact is that we are not surrounded by a generation of youth that are hopeless, lost, in need of anger management or general therapy. They do not need to be taught tough love and they by no means need to learn life the hard way. I believe that this is the first of possibly many more youth generations that are in need of the 'hands on' approach. Growing up my generation needed a few hours a week with our parents and mentors in order to be properly trained, but due to the gross over indulgence in media and technology with today's youth there needs to be much more time spent pouring into their lives. There is of course inherent risk in this that individuals will hurt you, that can however be said about every generation before this one and those that will follow. My honest opinion of the matter is that this generation needs love, an opportunity to show who they are and what they can accomplish is given the chance, they need to be shown that theirs is a future that they can take hold of, that hope is not a four letter word but an actual tangible experience of emotion and contrasting sentiment. Tough love is not the way to go, because just maybe they don't even know what it means to have simple love, the kind that stops them on the street and says, 'hey, are you ok?' And they don't need to learn the hard way because this is quite possibly the only way they have ever been taught anything in their lifetime. We can not leave them to fend for themselves and force them to grow up at an accelerated pace because our lives are just too busy. We need to fight for them, fend for them and train them up to live life in a proper respectful manner, and when they do fail we need to cheer them on to try again, no matter if it takes one try or 100, we need to be their biggest cheerleader.
I had a man in my life outside of my family who every chance he had, made sure to tell me how much improved I was at something, how well I was doing at another area of life, and where and how I could improve at areas I was weak in. This man mentored me because he saw potential and hope for my life. Who do you have in your life that did that for you, better question, who are you doing it for now? I know I would miss an entirely relevant area of this discussion if I didn't mention the apparent lack of respect that can sometimes be shown for the property and person of other individuals and that of the city they live in. My response to the way people react to these situations: this may be why the show of respect is not greater, if it is at all being shown. When we make a point to react in disrespect for the action of another the appropriate thing for the offender would be to apologize, but when we leave our youth to learn for themselves and expect them to make proper decisions along the way, we set them up for failure from the beginning of their journey toward adult hood. We would never leave an infant and expect him/her to feed and clothe themselves. Why take the adolescents and expect them to learn life's lessons without any guidance. Here's the point to this rant, lives are changed through relationship, this is the best way to see discipline take effect and foster the proper attitude or lifestyle change that may be needed. So if we want to change the culture and generation of the youth of our family/town/country get involved in their everyday activities. Start showing that you care and soon you'll see that they actually do care, not just as a show to appease us, but they actually do care.
I work with youth and children as part of my calling, I see the disfunction in their lives and the desire to be loved and accepted. So while I may see them in groups, I deal with them as individuals, getting involved and showing that they are cared for, that the future they will see can be entrusted in their hands, and that they are meant to accomplish great things. So if you see some spray paint, don't respond 'stupid kids' set it in your heart and mind to love and teach them. After all there is a good possibility some one once saw your actions and responded 'stupid kid' wouldn't you have rather been taught the better way to live life them be labeled in such a harsh way?
Take some time and share the hope you have with the generation that is growing up fast, too fast, and allow them to see down the road a few years, what's ahead may be rocky and have some hard lessons, but it is also filled with potential to grow and learn, opportunity to love and a chance to succeed. Life is short, why not share yours with someone who desires to live a good life.
Not long ago I was leaving a coffee shop in my little town when I saw some familiar faces, being the non excitable, completely methodical personality that I am I slowly crossed the street and approached them, with no motive other then to say hi, and no expectation beyond perhaps an awkward glance back toward me and a gesture towards the rest of the group that that guy is a little creepy. Perhaps you know the look, one friend trying to convince another that they have no idea who you are, a little nervous twitch of the eyes, a shrug of the shoulders and a slight groan that is completely incoherent, maybe you have even used the look a few times this month as strange older people have accosted you on the street or in a grocery store. As I opened my mouth to say hello to the two individuals in the group of 6 that I recognized I experienced something that threw me off base and set my mind on a roller coaster ride through specific responses while not finding one that could fit the uttered comment. Before I could form any words in an inviting tone I heard the following 'hey is there youth tonight, cause I want to bring a friend'. When you enter into a situation with a specific expectation of having very limited conversation and the whole realm of your reality is turned from convex to concave it sinks into your mind that what you had imagined was very refined by the way society has come to view this generation. Have I had the instance of limited conversation and needing to make an attempt to get out of awkward silence, yes I have, frequently. But this occasion changed my perspective and my belief in what kind of a culture our youth are surrounding themselves with. Suddenly it became apparent to me that not every person in this age range is decidedly silent to my generation, and they are in fact looking for a positive relationship with any one who is willing to offer it.
This is the reason for my post, we have long read in the "dear editor" section of our newspapers and even seen it on the evening news that this youth generation is being raised improperly, or responding to the nurturing process negatively or they are being so brainwashed by the 'evil things' all around them that their only response is disrespect. I disagree, and possibly not in a respectful manner. The fact is that we are not surrounded by a generation of youth that are hopeless, lost, in need of anger management or general therapy. They do not need to be taught tough love and they by no means need to learn life the hard way. I believe that this is the first of possibly many more youth generations that are in need of the 'hands on' approach. Growing up my generation needed a few hours a week with our parents and mentors in order to be properly trained, but due to the gross over indulgence in media and technology with today's youth there needs to be much more time spent pouring into their lives. There is of course inherent risk in this that individuals will hurt you, that can however be said about every generation before this one and those that will follow. My honest opinion of the matter is that this generation needs love, an opportunity to show who they are and what they can accomplish is given the chance, they need to be shown that theirs is a future that they can take hold of, that hope is not a four letter word but an actual tangible experience of emotion and contrasting sentiment. Tough love is not the way to go, because just maybe they don't even know what it means to have simple love, the kind that stops them on the street and says, 'hey, are you ok?' And they don't need to learn the hard way because this is quite possibly the only way they have ever been taught anything in their lifetime. We can not leave them to fend for themselves and force them to grow up at an accelerated pace because our lives are just too busy. We need to fight for them, fend for them and train them up to live life in a proper respectful manner, and when they do fail we need to cheer them on to try again, no matter if it takes one try or 100, we need to be their biggest cheerleader.
I had a man in my life outside of my family who every chance he had, made sure to tell me how much improved I was at something, how well I was doing at another area of life, and where and how I could improve at areas I was weak in. This man mentored me because he saw potential and hope for my life. Who do you have in your life that did that for you, better question, who are you doing it for now? I know I would miss an entirely relevant area of this discussion if I didn't mention the apparent lack of respect that can sometimes be shown for the property and person of other individuals and that of the city they live in. My response to the way people react to these situations: this may be why the show of respect is not greater, if it is at all being shown. When we make a point to react in disrespect for the action of another the appropriate thing for the offender would be to apologize, but when we leave our youth to learn for themselves and expect them to make proper decisions along the way, we set them up for failure from the beginning of their journey toward adult hood. We would never leave an infant and expect him/her to feed and clothe themselves. Why take the adolescents and expect them to learn life's lessons without any guidance. Here's the point to this rant, lives are changed through relationship, this is the best way to see discipline take effect and foster the proper attitude or lifestyle change that may be needed. So if we want to change the culture and generation of the youth of our family/town/country get involved in their everyday activities. Start showing that you care and soon you'll see that they actually do care, not just as a show to appease us, but they actually do care.
I work with youth and children as part of my calling, I see the disfunction in their lives and the desire to be loved and accepted. So while I may see them in groups, I deal with them as individuals, getting involved and showing that they are cared for, that the future they will see can be entrusted in their hands, and that they are meant to accomplish great things. So if you see some spray paint, don't respond 'stupid kids' set it in your heart and mind to love and teach them. After all there is a good possibility some one once saw your actions and responded 'stupid kid' wouldn't you have rather been taught the better way to live life them be labeled in such a harsh way?
Take some time and share the hope you have with the generation that is growing up fast, too fast, and allow them to see down the road a few years, what's ahead may be rocky and have some hard lessons, but it is also filled with potential to grow and learn, opportunity to love and a chance to succeed. Life is short, why not share yours with someone who desires to live a good life.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
My confession and a shout out
I would like to take a moment and confess that I have not kept the blog up to date at all for one reason. I have been discouraged by the small number beside my followers total. But I discovered that by not writing here I have put a very large cap on my creative ability and growth. It is not possible to find new avenues of expression when all my thoughts are left in various corners of my brain and seldom spewed into tangible expressions of conviction and burden. I also came to the conclusion that I was persuaded very easily to start this blog, actually re-start the blog because I have always had a dream of writing a book and having it published. I was told that a blog can be a great start at this, so I figure if this dream is to go from moments of subconscious reflection and crafting into a reality, I need to be proactive in the process. I would never want to get to the point of seeking a publisher with a half finished thought for a potential title of a book that has not gone past the whiteboard sessions in my mind. So I will write, even if it is for the few followers to read that day, I will share what is on my mind, and maybe start a few more blogs for different streams of thought. For now, I write because I genuinely love to construct thoughts and pictures with letters placed sometimes incorrectly into sentences. Join me if you like.
Now I want to give a 'shout out', do we really still say that, to a group of people that are making a difference in the world by reminding us that everybody is capable and deserving of a second chance. This is a community, that have termed themselves 'People of the Second Chance'. The purpose of this community, if I am correct in this and may take the liberty, is to present the idea that a second chance is not out of reach for any of us. That regardless of the offense, the missed opportunity or the wavered path, a second chance for your life is available. The idea behind all of this is Grace, that we would both accept and offer grace to one another in this life, that we would be a people who understand that at one time we had a second chance, and though the opportunity to make it right may have come out of a transgression that is our eyes was not a great one, somebody still offered us the path to correct our ways, a second chance. They took the story of Michael Vick and his re-entry into the NFL as an opportunity to offer him a second chance. I believe the words used went along the lines of "I hope he succeeds" there may have even been an expression of "I hope the Eagles win the super bowl". This is one example of the grace that they hope to convey to a world that has made themselves the judge of everyones life, forgetting that vengeance is not ours to extract. Maybe they are what we would term 'grass roots' but I see the importance in their words and the desire in their actions to show to any who they may cross paths with a second chance at their life.
Now I want to give a 'shout out', do we really still say that, to a group of people that are making a difference in the world by reminding us that everybody is capable and deserving of a second chance. This is a community, that have termed themselves 'People of the Second Chance'. The purpose of this community, if I am correct in this and may take the liberty, is to present the idea that a second chance is not out of reach for any of us. That regardless of the offense, the missed opportunity or the wavered path, a second chance for your life is available. The idea behind all of this is Grace, that we would both accept and offer grace to one another in this life, that we would be a people who understand that at one time we had a second chance, and though the opportunity to make it right may have come out of a transgression that is our eyes was not a great one, somebody still offered us the path to correct our ways, a second chance. They took the story of Michael Vick and his re-entry into the NFL as an opportunity to offer him a second chance. I believe the words used went along the lines of "I hope he succeeds" there may have even been an expression of "I hope the Eagles win the super bowl". This is one example of the grace that they hope to convey to a world that has made themselves the judge of everyones life, forgetting that vengeance is not ours to extract. Maybe they are what we would term 'grass roots' but I see the importance in their words and the desire in their actions to show to any who they may cross paths with a second chance at their life. In an earlier post I mentioned about the role models we have placed before our children, and while I still believe that we are giving improper direction for our boys to become men of truth and strength with some of the personalities out there, I also believe that each one of these names mentioned is an incredible candidate for a second chance. When a physical injury happens to one of our sports hero's we seldom write them off and claim that they will not produce as they once did. They go through possible surgery, then rehab, then some low impact training, then some game simulation training, then possible they start into a game with limited play, and they make a comeback that can see them achieve equal and greater ability then they had before the injury. But for some reason when we hear of these sports heros breaking laws and hurting others we place them in a category of useless second hand underachievers. We no longer cheer for them to comeback to the game and make a difference, and when they do we make big signs and stand there, at a game, or even in our living room, conveying a message of disgust. Why not express an option for a second, or in some cases, third and forth chance. Cheer for these people to come back to the team and be the player they were trying to be. After all we only know about their life problems because of the fame they have, we don't know of the life issues of all those around us and they may be living lives worse then those who are forefront on our televisions.
The fact is that everyday there is a new face on the television or a new voice on our radios and podcasts of someone who has messed up in life. They express words of regret that may or may not be true or adequate for the moment. Maybe there is no remorse in their life stemming from the circumstance they have been caught up in. But the voices and faces are there. They come from all walks of life, politics, sports, finance, religion, business and celebrity. However they all come from the neighborhood you and I live in. They come from the cars next to you on the freeway, they are the people who you pass in the grocery store, they are everyone. And regardless of what walk of life they are connected to, what stream of finance they enjoy or lack, they all have one thing in common, they are people just like you and I. So next time you hear or see the face of someone who has screwed up a little or a lot, instead of beating them up with our words and actions, why not do the right thing, be a 'people of the second chance.' After all, you got one, why shouldn't they?
You can find more about People of the Second Chance at their website: http://www.potsc.com
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Boys need to be boys
As I sat on the couch and watched my older son play with his matchbox cars and pretend he was in the midst of an intense nascar race, I began to contemplate by behavior at his age. Sitting in the back garden with my GI JOE's, digging them a trench to fight from, enlisting the services of any and all insects in the area to help defeat the evil Cobra forces that were surrounding them. When suddenly the rain would begin to fall and the only thought on the mind of those action figures was to get to higher ground, so I quickly, with bare hands, began to fling dirt into a make shift ridge that they could climb and fire down upon the enemy, all while fleeing from the oncoming flood from a late summer down pour. Those were the days of pure adventure, when the only limit to what you could do was how far you allowed your imagination to stretch. I often wonder where my son is in while his imagination is working overtime. One moment he could be in a 'three lap race' and the next he is boxing his imaginary opponent. I try my best to encourage him to think of new scenarios to be played out, and to place himself in the action, thats where the real enjoyment is. Watching him play has become one of my favorite past times, it's so easy to allow time to slip away when he's laying on the floor with a plastic monster truck in one hand as he runs over the obstacles he has created, which often are his sister's barbie dolls, and he yells out 'watch out for the crusher truck'. But I am startled by a new thought, as a senior kindergarten student he is one year removed from his teacher asking him to complete an assignment on what he would like to be when he grows up.
There's nothing wrong with this particular process, but my fear is that we as a society are rushing our young children out of their imaginations and into the real world too quickly. Boy's need to be boy's as long as they can. I am so encouraged when I see grade 5's and 6's running around in costumes acting silly for the sake of nothing more then some fun, no worry about 'the future' at that moment. Where I am discouraged is when I have conversations with parents about the need to teach their 6 year old the right way to save money and how to spend money, or why it's wrong to spend so much time on one interest and not broadening the horizons during their free time. Eventually boys grow out of wanting to play with some toys and they become interested in other things in life, someday they begin to talk about the girl beside them in class and as a parent you wonder 'is it time for the talk'?
For now I want my boy's to enjoy their childhood, because it is so very short, and though I am soon to be 30, I will enjoy it with them, whether it entails watching them from my couch, or rolling on the floor with them, making silly voices and running over barbie dolls with the 'crusher truck'. Not only will I encourage my boys to remain boys as long as they can, but I think it's far been to long since some of us 'men' have acted as 'boys'.
The perpetual fear is that we will be seen as immature or our friends will poke fun at us for our desire to jump in a puddle, do you remember how much fun this is? Physically some of us may not be able to do certain activities, but mentally we can still imagine ourselves as captain of the Jolly Roger on our way to stop the evil Duke from claiming the land of our fathers. Imagination is not only a way to feel young, but it also keeps us mentally fit by allowing our brains to recall various occurrences in life and general history. Am I made fun of for sitting in a cardboard box as my kids pull me through the house, probably. Do people ridicule me for finding enjoyment in building a railroad track so I can act out a rescue scene with my kids, in al likelihood yes. But am I worried about what you think, no. I'm not worried because you think I am immature and unclassy because my kids for those moments think I am superman, my wife thinks I am an amazing dad and my dog thinks I am a chew toy. But we all get a laugh out of it and my kids love me for it.
If I am told to grow up I will answer with some sort of sarcastic comment like: maybe when I'm 70. But the truth is I'll probably be sitting down with my grand kids at that point playing video games. Come to think of it, maybe we place too much emphasis on 'growing up'. Yes me need to mature, we need to be responsible and we need to have character and integrity, in short we need to become men. But the truth is in all men there is a boy, and at some point we all need to be that boy, even as a 30 year old or 70 year old. Back to the process of the school assignment. I know when this project comes home we will hear many different answers. I want to be a cowboy when I grow up, or maybe a race car driver, or a doctor, or a pastor or... and the list goes on. Whatever the answer I will encourage it, but I will also encourage the thought of becoming a good, strong, integrity driven, loving and motivated man. A man who has a sense of childhood instilled within him. My hope is that all my kids grow up see their dreams realized, for right now I am content in watching them be kids, and while my boy's are boy's I will be a boy with them. Maybe it's time we all grew up a little and became better men, by becoming better boys.
There's nothing wrong with this particular process, but my fear is that we as a society are rushing our young children out of their imaginations and into the real world too quickly. Boy's need to be boy's as long as they can. I am so encouraged when I see grade 5's and 6's running around in costumes acting silly for the sake of nothing more then some fun, no worry about 'the future' at that moment. Where I am discouraged is when I have conversations with parents about the need to teach their 6 year old the right way to save money and how to spend money, or why it's wrong to spend so much time on one interest and not broadening the horizons during their free time. Eventually boys grow out of wanting to play with some toys and they become interested in other things in life, someday they begin to talk about the girl beside them in class and as a parent you wonder 'is it time for the talk'?
For now I want my boy's to enjoy their childhood, because it is so very short, and though I am soon to be 30, I will enjoy it with them, whether it entails watching them from my couch, or rolling on the floor with them, making silly voices and running over barbie dolls with the 'crusher truck'. Not only will I encourage my boys to remain boys as long as they can, but I think it's far been to long since some of us 'men' have acted as 'boys'.
The perpetual fear is that we will be seen as immature or our friends will poke fun at us for our desire to jump in a puddle, do you remember how much fun this is? Physically some of us may not be able to do certain activities, but mentally we can still imagine ourselves as captain of the Jolly Roger on our way to stop the evil Duke from claiming the land of our fathers. Imagination is not only a way to feel young, but it also keeps us mentally fit by allowing our brains to recall various occurrences in life and general history. Am I made fun of for sitting in a cardboard box as my kids pull me through the house, probably. Do people ridicule me for finding enjoyment in building a railroad track so I can act out a rescue scene with my kids, in al likelihood yes. But am I worried about what you think, no. I'm not worried because you think I am immature and unclassy because my kids for those moments think I am superman, my wife thinks I am an amazing dad and my dog thinks I am a chew toy. But we all get a laugh out of it and my kids love me for it.
If I am told to grow up I will answer with some sort of sarcastic comment like: maybe when I'm 70. But the truth is I'll probably be sitting down with my grand kids at that point playing video games. Come to think of it, maybe we place too much emphasis on 'growing up'. Yes me need to mature, we need to be responsible and we need to have character and integrity, in short we need to become men. But the truth is in all men there is a boy, and at some point we all need to be that boy, even as a 30 year old or 70 year old. Back to the process of the school assignment. I know when this project comes home we will hear many different answers. I want to be a cowboy when I grow up, or maybe a race car driver, or a doctor, or a pastor or... and the list goes on. Whatever the answer I will encourage it, but I will also encourage the thought of becoming a good, strong, integrity driven, loving and motivated man. A man who has a sense of childhood instilled within him. My hope is that all my kids grow up see their dreams realized, for right now I am content in watching them be kids, and while my boy's are boy's I will be a boy with them. Maybe it's time we all grew up a little and became better men, by becoming better boys.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Where are all the men?
Remember what it was like when we were young, the people we watched on television, the ones that our parents so subtly told us to do everything we could to not be like them, and then the others that we were told we should try to emulate? Can you recall trying your best to talk like your role models, to look like your heros? In some form those moments still exist, parents still have conversation with their children that is governed by modern media and the people we see as the most influential 'celebrities and viral all stars'. Music has mainstreamed a generation of people who want to live at home as one person and be a 'rock star' every where else, think Miley Cyrus in her younger years. Nickleback even wrote a song that captures the true heart of the matter, we have surrendered much of our lives to the lust of the flesh and have garnered a lot of negative attention in the process, wanting to have the next big thing, all the popular gadgets and material possessions and possibly even the 'eye candy' and 'trophies' on our arms. Yet in all of this, I am not as angered as I have been with the way men have been portrayed and made examples of over the last few years.
Journey with me over the coming paragraphs and try to grasp what I am struggling with, where my apathy to advertisers has come from and why I feel the need to start a revolution towards rebuilding the male gender to who we should be. Ladies I encourage you to read along as well, and join in the process with encouragement and growth. Let's go.
Growing up I had a few hero's in my life, people I really wanted to be like. I followed the life of the typical role models, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Wayne Gretzky, Tony Hawk, Lawrence Taylor the people that pop culture made out to be the top of the ladder for young men to idolize. What has become apparent in the many years since my tenth birthday, is that I was possibly following the wrong men. These names along with many others presented great personalities in front of television cameras and microphones, but with the exception of 'the great one' all have failed to remain the men they claimed to be. Each had a great life and did wonderful things, but they have also since fell quickly down the ladder by some terrible choices in family and personal life.
I have come to grips with the reality that today's role models in pop culture and all things media are very much the same, living a great life in front of the camera, but making questionable decisions in their personal lives. Think A-Rod, Tiger Woods, Ben Roethlisberger, Mel Gibson, Eminem, Usher and the list can carry page after page of names. These are the men we are turning our young boys towards and saying, be like him, he's a MAN'S MAN. We disregard the turmoil that each one goes through on the sidelines of life, neglecting the issues they represent, all for who they are in the spotlight. But I refuse to allow my young boys to be polluted in a way that would turn them to make inappropriate life choices, decisions that would leave them in the gutter begging to have a second chance, instead I am deciding to not only be a man that my boys can look up to and emulate, but I am going to surround myself with this type of man, creating in my household a generation of character, trust integrity and honesty, men who will stand for their beliefs, their faith and their family. I choose to give my boys the best chance at succeeding as men that I can possibly create, to allow them to be the kind of man their children will want to look up to and emulate.
Yet this is not even the start of the issues I have begun to wrestle with, remember my words as I crafted an introduction to this topic - the way men are portrayed and made examples of, in this lies what has become my biggest concern. The truth is I can help my boys and others by pointing them to good proper role models, but I can not halt the onslaught of media telling them to act a certain way by doing anything less then moving to the mountains and avoiding all outside contact, which I refuse to do. Confused? Allow me to pick it apart for you and hopefully it will help.
A couple of years ago a certain advertising series began with the what was intended to be a humorous look at married life, from this series came a line that drove a dagger into my frontal cortex and began twisting it violently until I was lost with who I should be, the line "Shut up Steve". Perhaps you remember this commercial that ran throughout North America and still runs to this day, promoting the health benefits of the cereal and yet beginning a downward spiral of advertisements that created an atmosphere of stench around the male gender. No ladies I am not saying down with the movement of powerful women, you deserve where you have gotten and I applaud you for it, hear me out then cast your stones.
Men are not stupid, we may say things that are deemed as moronic but that does not hold true to our entire personality. Somehow advertisers have cast a shadow on us pushing us into a corner with one escape and that is to cave to who they have made us. Even in the midst of the women's rights and liberalism movements and elevating females to a higher role then they had 50 years ago, they still wanted and want a man who could be strong, stand for his family, protect them, provide and be full of character, to be a man's man, make his own decisions, have integrity in life's toughest moments. Now we are told to 'get girl approved hair' and eat your vegetables or someone will slap you on the forehead. Ladies, do you really want your man to come to you every day and say, 'Honey can you do my hair and pick out something for me to wear today'? And while were on the subject can you help me make proper decisions on food, cologne, foot wear, music, my friends and where to spend my allowance.
This is what we are bombarded with everyday, a constant, do it this way or else type of mentality. The absolute worst part of it all, we are repeating these tag lines to ourselves, removing self worth and self respect, destroying our standing as head of the house and making a mockery of who our ancestors were. I hate it when I see men laughing at the advertisements, as if saying 'if I laugh no one will know how insecure I am that I have become that person, hahahahahahaha' STOP IT, I see right through you!
The only hope of a salvation that my gender has tried to grab onto is an ex NFLer who states 'your man can smell like me, and not a girl'. Bravo, at least it's entertaining, if not some what effective. What's wrong with making a name for yourself, stating, I will be strong, I will be a great husband, an amazing father and a stand up employee/employer. I will make a difference in this world that goes beyond opening the door for the elderly and paying for someone's coffee, I will help this society to become better by being a man. Stop looking to the people that are supposed to be our children's role models and start being one yourself, then one day I can look and say, Thank God for all the men.
Journey with me over the coming paragraphs and try to grasp what I am struggling with, where my apathy to advertisers has come from and why I feel the need to start a revolution towards rebuilding the male gender to who we should be. Ladies I encourage you to read along as well, and join in the process with encouragement and growth. Let's go.
Growing up I had a few hero's in my life, people I really wanted to be like. I followed the life of the typical role models, Hulk Hogan, Mr. T, Wayne Gretzky, Tony Hawk, Lawrence Taylor the people that pop culture made out to be the top of the ladder for young men to idolize. What has become apparent in the many years since my tenth birthday, is that I was possibly following the wrong men. These names along with many others presented great personalities in front of television cameras and microphones, but with the exception of 'the great one' all have failed to remain the men they claimed to be. Each had a great life and did wonderful things, but they have also since fell quickly down the ladder by some terrible choices in family and personal life.
I have come to grips with the reality that today's role models in pop culture and all things media are very much the same, living a great life in front of the camera, but making questionable decisions in their personal lives. Think A-Rod, Tiger Woods, Ben Roethlisberger, Mel Gibson, Eminem, Usher and the list can carry page after page of names. These are the men we are turning our young boys towards and saying, be like him, he's a MAN'S MAN. We disregard the turmoil that each one goes through on the sidelines of life, neglecting the issues they represent, all for who they are in the spotlight. But I refuse to allow my young boys to be polluted in a way that would turn them to make inappropriate life choices, decisions that would leave them in the gutter begging to have a second chance, instead I am deciding to not only be a man that my boys can look up to and emulate, but I am going to surround myself with this type of man, creating in my household a generation of character, trust integrity and honesty, men who will stand for their beliefs, their faith and their family. I choose to give my boys the best chance at succeeding as men that I can possibly create, to allow them to be the kind of man their children will want to look up to and emulate.
Yet this is not even the start of the issues I have begun to wrestle with, remember my words as I crafted an introduction to this topic - the way men are portrayed and made examples of, in this lies what has become my biggest concern. The truth is I can help my boys and others by pointing them to good proper role models, but I can not halt the onslaught of media telling them to act a certain way by doing anything less then moving to the mountains and avoiding all outside contact, which I refuse to do. Confused? Allow me to pick it apart for you and hopefully it will help.
A couple of years ago a certain advertising series began with the what was intended to be a humorous look at married life, from this series came a line that drove a dagger into my frontal cortex and began twisting it violently until I was lost with who I should be, the line "Shut up Steve". Perhaps you remember this commercial that ran throughout North America and still runs to this day, promoting the health benefits of the cereal and yet beginning a downward spiral of advertisements that created an atmosphere of stench around the male gender. No ladies I am not saying down with the movement of powerful women, you deserve where you have gotten and I applaud you for it, hear me out then cast your stones.
Men are not stupid, we may say things that are deemed as moronic but that does not hold true to our entire personality. Somehow advertisers have cast a shadow on us pushing us into a corner with one escape and that is to cave to who they have made us. Even in the midst of the women's rights and liberalism movements and elevating females to a higher role then they had 50 years ago, they still wanted and want a man who could be strong, stand for his family, protect them, provide and be full of character, to be a man's man, make his own decisions, have integrity in life's toughest moments. Now we are told to 'get girl approved hair' and eat your vegetables or someone will slap you on the forehead. Ladies, do you really want your man to come to you every day and say, 'Honey can you do my hair and pick out something for me to wear today'? And while were on the subject can you help me make proper decisions on food, cologne, foot wear, music, my friends and where to spend my allowance.
This is what we are bombarded with everyday, a constant, do it this way or else type of mentality. The absolute worst part of it all, we are repeating these tag lines to ourselves, removing self worth and self respect, destroying our standing as head of the house and making a mockery of who our ancestors were. I hate it when I see men laughing at the advertisements, as if saying 'if I laugh no one will know how insecure I am that I have become that person, hahahahahahaha' STOP IT, I see right through you!
The only hope of a salvation that my gender has tried to grab onto is an ex NFLer who states 'your man can smell like me, and not a girl'. Bravo, at least it's entertaining, if not some what effective. What's wrong with making a name for yourself, stating, I will be strong, I will be a great husband, an amazing father and a stand up employee/employer. I will make a difference in this world that goes beyond opening the door for the elderly and paying for someone's coffee, I will help this society to become better by being a man. Stop looking to the people that are supposed to be our children's role models and start being one yourself, then one day I can look and say, Thank God for all the men.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Finalization of a misunderstood truth
However, I have come to discover that this is not the truth. Over the past few days, perhaps weeks I have been meditating on the thought of my lack of motivation for writing, not just here but everywhere, no more attempted poetry, no more study journals on books I am reading, no more brief notes or journal entries on life happenings, writing has ceased outside of my calling and general work related needs. Then the epiphany. I didn't stop writing because of motivation or laziness or even some missing creative spark. I stopped writing this blog because I became very agitated. Yes there was a prolonged sickness in the middle of it all, but some where I began to suffer from a state of pure apathy and agitation towards so many different things in life. Mostly form that point on I discussed my thoughts with my wife and left it at that, because I felt I was just really negative on each subject, like what does this really have to offer to a society that is already hearing a negative approach to so many things. So I made the decision to just shut up, which of course cause more agitation and a need to vent the putrid lines of filth that was my train of thought. And again, no blog, no writing of any sort. I concluded that the lack of my writing here, hurt my style of writing every else, and so I just quit altogether. As if just remaining silent would help me get past the season of life my brain is in. But it isn't moving on, I have a need to share my undesirable process of analytical contemplation and put it out where anyone can read it, anyone can critique it and anyone can copy it.
So here it comes world, regardless of how I am feeling in my minds eye at the moment, I will be writing it down. The coming posts may be negative, they may be critical and they may cause you to become agitated as well. But I hope they move you to see life in a new light, because we need to see change in the way we view each other and the way we view the world. Here is your warning, I am loosing my fingers to type what my mind is throwing about like an over inflated beach ball, and sometimes the impact hurts.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
long time coming
Fear not I will return, I have been immersed in many deep thoughts, troubling unknown sickness, and exciting ministry moments. Anticipate what will come soon, you will be entrenched in the reading for a season, and hopefully the words will be challenging and encouraging.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Another day another smile
I find it very hard to get through a day without smiling. Not because a smile is intrinsic to my being, it's not, I've often been described as having a quite somber looking countenance, but there are so many things around me that cause me to smirk, grin and smile that it becomes routine for me.
From watching my daughter play on the swing, singing a song she has in her heart, or my oldest son doing math for no other reason then to simply know the answer to different questions, always running around shouting; 'what's 1 plus 1 again' or 'what's 5 plus 4' and even 'what's 100 plus 100'. He'll be the math genius of the house for sure. Then there's the baby, who changes moods as often as we change his diaper, but when he gets into a good mood, everyone in the house knows it. He sings, talks, laughs, jumps, swings, and smiles, none of which is for our entertainment, but one would swear he is just trying to lighten the mood and change the day for the better. Baseball makes me smile, it may cause you to sleep, but I get joy from watching all that happens in those 3 hours. Dirt even makes me smile, maybe that's because I'm a guy, but I like dirt.
Yet with all the reasons to smile there is a burden in my heart that I can not escape, it haunts me day and night, leaving no room for joy. Only this burden is not a health concern, or a lost pet, or a financial crisis. It goes much deeper then all of these concerns and others could imagine. This burden I have is the lose of hope in our community and specifically the new teenage generation.
Around my house and church you will hear me talk about it all the time, I often proclaim "I want to spread hope to our youth and to this city, they need to know they were made to bring change and that they are crafted for greatness." I have many great ideas to accomplish this task as well, but in the last year only a few have taken form, maybe I am too much of a zealot for hope, perhaps I am over reaching on the issue. But what I see are families that follow a generational strong hold that no one is either willing or able to break free from. This needs to change, there is a hope for greater things and there needs to be a desire to be a catalyst for the change. I am willing to champion the cause, if others will soldier it.
Hope is not a word that can be taken lightly, it's like saying I love cheese in the same sentence as I love my wife, the too do not fit well. Taking hope as a word that brings a desire for small temporal changes lowers the effectiveness when we look at the importance it can play in our everyday life. 'I hope I get a new iPod' has no weight when placed beside 'we hope this isn't cancer' yet for some reason both statements mean the world to the person saying them. Why? When and where did the desire for more objects begin to line up with need for whole health? Here's one I overheard from a teenager, "I hope they breakup so I can date him" is placing pain in one persons life really worth a little pleasure in yours, is it something to hope for? That view point, hoping for one girls emotions to be utterly crushed, has no place in daily life until someone else sees her boyfriend and thinks, I wish he was mine. Line that thought up with hoping your position at the place you work will last through the recession, or hoping the oil spill will stop and not cause too much more damage. Where does the importance lay now? With the work place and the oil spill? Not for that teenage girl, she'd rather have the man and let the earth take care of itself, we hope for what we see and what is consuming us at the moment, all of us are different, but not all 'hopes' have equal consequence or gravity.
The point is that I have a burning in my spirit to bring about real hope to the generation I work with on a daily basis, to show them that self esteem and self worth are not just words and a state of mind that we all struggle with but that when you really grab a hold of what hope is, you can change not just your own life, but you can literally change the world.
Stop taking it lightly, hope. Stop abusing the word, the movement and the shift in culture. Find a way to spread hope to those around you, even for just one day, then you'll see why I am so passionate about bringing it into the world.
Hope, like love, is needed by all of us. If not for hope we would all be lost, if not for hope hospitals would close, if not for hope convicts would all be executed.
Because of hope, today I smiled, but because of hope I hurt. The pain of 10 000 people sits on my shoulders, their lives, desires, passions and yes their hopes. They haven't placed it all there, I have. I have done so because I have a burden that they will some day have a deeper hope, one that drives them to change the world. Until then I will find my reason to smile and I will be driven by my burden to spread hope.
From watching my daughter play on the swing, singing a song she has in her heart, or my oldest son doing math for no other reason then to simply know the answer to different questions, always running around shouting; 'what's 1 plus 1 again' or 'what's 5 plus 4' and even 'what's 100 plus 100'. He'll be the math genius of the house for sure. Then there's the baby, who changes moods as often as we change his diaper, but when he gets into a good mood, everyone in the house knows it. He sings, talks, laughs, jumps, swings, and smiles, none of which is for our entertainment, but one would swear he is just trying to lighten the mood and change the day for the better. Baseball makes me smile, it may cause you to sleep, but I get joy from watching all that happens in those 3 hours. Dirt even makes me smile, maybe that's because I'm a guy, but I like dirt.
Yet with all the reasons to smile there is a burden in my heart that I can not escape, it haunts me day and night, leaving no room for joy. Only this burden is not a health concern, or a lost pet, or a financial crisis. It goes much deeper then all of these concerns and others could imagine. This burden I have is the lose of hope in our community and specifically the new teenage generation.
Around my house and church you will hear me talk about it all the time, I often proclaim "I want to spread hope to our youth and to this city, they need to know they were made to bring change and that they are crafted for greatness." I have many great ideas to accomplish this task as well, but in the last year only a few have taken form, maybe I am too much of a zealot for hope, perhaps I am over reaching on the issue. But what I see are families that follow a generational strong hold that no one is either willing or able to break free from. This needs to change, there is a hope for greater things and there needs to be a desire to be a catalyst for the change. I am willing to champion the cause, if others will soldier it.
Hope is not a word that can be taken lightly, it's like saying I love cheese in the same sentence as I love my wife, the too do not fit well. Taking hope as a word that brings a desire for small temporal changes lowers the effectiveness when we look at the importance it can play in our everyday life. 'I hope I get a new iPod' has no weight when placed beside 'we hope this isn't cancer' yet for some reason both statements mean the world to the person saying them. Why? When and where did the desire for more objects begin to line up with need for whole health? Here's one I overheard from a teenager, "I hope they breakup so I can date him" is placing pain in one persons life really worth a little pleasure in yours, is it something to hope for? That view point, hoping for one girls emotions to be utterly crushed, has no place in daily life until someone else sees her boyfriend and thinks, I wish he was mine. Line that thought up with hoping your position at the place you work will last through the recession, or hoping the oil spill will stop and not cause too much more damage. Where does the importance lay now? With the work place and the oil spill? Not for that teenage girl, she'd rather have the man and let the earth take care of itself, we hope for what we see and what is consuming us at the moment, all of us are different, but not all 'hopes' have equal consequence or gravity.
The point is that I have a burning in my spirit to bring about real hope to the generation I work with on a daily basis, to show them that self esteem and self worth are not just words and a state of mind that we all struggle with but that when you really grab a hold of what hope is, you can change not just your own life, but you can literally change the world.
Stop taking it lightly, hope. Stop abusing the word, the movement and the shift in culture. Find a way to spread hope to those around you, even for just one day, then you'll see why I am so passionate about bringing it into the world.
Hope, like love, is needed by all of us. If not for hope we would all be lost, if not for hope hospitals would close, if not for hope convicts would all be executed.
Because of hope, today I smiled, but because of hope I hurt. The pain of 10 000 people sits on my shoulders, their lives, desires, passions and yes their hopes. They haven't placed it all there, I have. I have done so because I have a burden that they will some day have a deeper hope, one that drives them to change the world. Until then I will find my reason to smile and I will be driven by my burden to spread hope.
Friday, June 4, 2010
The mind is a terrible thing
I thought about blogging on my last few weeks of life, my dental cleaning, time away with the youth at convention surrounded by 900 teenagers who were enraged with hormones and overwhelmed by a very real presence of God, possibly talk about the ongoing destruction of 20 some gardens while in the process of attempting to reclaim our backyard all the while knowing that next year the poppies will be everywhere. Maybe I should share about my now growing state of being highly agitated and easily irritated, should I repent here publicly of my road rage and how I contemplate throwing golf balls out of my sun roof at the 'bad drivers' with no real intention of ever following up on those envisioned destructive moments. How about the possibly justified offense towards christian radio, or maybe the unproven first impressions rule of conversation and relationships. So many things that I could ramble about aimlessly for many non progressive paragraphs all of which would turn into another run on sentence or unfinished thought.
So I choose instead to blog about my mind that right now seems so jumbled and mixed up that to even concentrate on writing this I have to blast out some old school Skillet from my macbook speakers, because I'm too lazy to reach for the ear buds or plug in the external dell speakers that are both sitting mere feet from my current position at the desk in my office. So I type with speakers at half to not ruin their small ability to produce sound.
This is the way my life has been lately, a pile of thoughts that have no conclusion and lead me astray from any task, taking away all effectiveness and bring motivation and process to a grinding stop or a giant crash like a broken track under Bennet's Thomas trains as they so valiantly attempt to negotiate the quickly deteriorating bridge he has hastily built for them. Why am I so unable to maintain one thought, where is the work ethic I had last week, I start researching and preparing for various things and my mind goes to next weeks softball game and the line up we need to prepare. Even at lunch as I drive home to kill some "weeds" and make room for grass I find my self embracing the thought of sitting down for a few hours to play video games and forget about the building piles of clean laundry I have neglected. CD's over what's next.... POD nice.
Even that last thought got me thinking about why I am getting offended at Christian radio, whole other well thought out and carefully written post, maybe next week?
I heard it once so plainly stated and basically explained that a man's brain is made up of many boxes where different areas of life exist, one for house work, one for office work, one for family, one for friends, various boxes each one having one purpose, one idea, one need within them, and they rarely if ever are opened more then two at once, which is why men are horrible at multitasking and making then keeping appointments. We cannot operate in a state of multiple thought processes, we concentrate on one thing at a time and when we need to go to a new idea we close that box and when frustrated we go to the nothing box, and YES this does exist. Women on the other hand have a brain that looks like a bowl of spaghetti noodles, everything intertwined all touching each other with the ability to think about many different things at once and actually carry out a distinct thought process on one topic, have a conversation about another and work on three projects all at the same time. Here's where the problem comes into existence with my current state of confusion and adult a.d.d. My nothing box is full of everything else, every box is open at once and every thought and area of life is invading my brain until the point I find a way to shut them down and go to sleep, or when my body just shuts down and I vanish from full consciousness to instant rem sleep, no really this is happening. New CD again.... Hip Hope Hits 2005, wow those are some old jams!
So while this blog may not appear to be like the previous two, it kind of explains why it's been so many weeks since my last posting, my brain appears to hate me and doesn't allow me to write at a constant pace for more then 5-10 minutes. K so 3 CD's later about one hour and this is my post. Time to pick up the kids and go home for a couple hours before returning to shock the minds of our youth with the idea of God's glory being revealed. Until next time, thanks for reading.
So I choose instead to blog about my mind that right now seems so jumbled and mixed up that to even concentrate on writing this I have to blast out some old school Skillet from my macbook speakers, because I'm too lazy to reach for the ear buds or plug in the external dell speakers that are both sitting mere feet from my current position at the desk in my office. So I type with speakers at half to not ruin their small ability to produce sound.
This is the way my life has been lately, a pile of thoughts that have no conclusion and lead me astray from any task, taking away all effectiveness and bring motivation and process to a grinding stop or a giant crash like a broken track under Bennet's Thomas trains as they so valiantly attempt to negotiate the quickly deteriorating bridge he has hastily built for them. Why am I so unable to maintain one thought, where is the work ethic I had last week, I start researching and preparing for various things and my mind goes to next weeks softball game and the line up we need to prepare. Even at lunch as I drive home to kill some "weeds" and make room for grass I find my self embracing the thought of sitting down for a few hours to play video games and forget about the building piles of clean laundry I have neglected. CD's over what's next.... POD nice.
Even that last thought got me thinking about why I am getting offended at Christian radio, whole other well thought out and carefully written post, maybe next week?
I heard it once so plainly stated and basically explained that a man's brain is made up of many boxes where different areas of life exist, one for house work, one for office work, one for family, one for friends, various boxes each one having one purpose, one idea, one need within them, and they rarely if ever are opened more then two at once, which is why men are horrible at multitasking and making then keeping appointments. We cannot operate in a state of multiple thought processes, we concentrate on one thing at a time and when we need to go to a new idea we close that box and when frustrated we go to the nothing box, and YES this does exist. Women on the other hand have a brain that looks like a bowl of spaghetti noodles, everything intertwined all touching each other with the ability to think about many different things at once and actually carry out a distinct thought process on one topic, have a conversation about another and work on three projects all at the same time. Here's where the problem comes into existence with my current state of confusion and adult a.d.d. My nothing box is full of everything else, every box is open at once and every thought and area of life is invading my brain until the point I find a way to shut them down and go to sleep, or when my body just shuts down and I vanish from full consciousness to instant rem sleep, no really this is happening. New CD again.... Hip Hope Hits 2005, wow those are some old jams!
So while this blog may not appear to be like the previous two, it kind of explains why it's been so many weeks since my last posting, my brain appears to hate me and doesn't allow me to write at a constant pace for more then 5-10 minutes. K so 3 CD's later about one hour and this is my post. Time to pick up the kids and go home for a couple hours before returning to shock the minds of our youth with the idea of God's glory being revealed. Until next time, thanks for reading.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
A Simple Pet Peeve
It was a dark and stormy night as Jake looked out his window in a luxurious modern condo in downtown Chicago. he knew he had some unfinished business with certain employees, but first he had to find the strength within himself to look in the mirror knowing that what he was about to get involved in would change his life and the lives of each family in his building, and for their part in this scenario they would not be rewarded. AAAAAHHHHHH
K really, I hate reading books that start with 'It was a dark and stormy night' and yet so many people decide that since this intro worked once maybe twice in all history of fiction, this must be the way to get people drawn into a book. Guess what, it's not. So many people like dark and stormy nights, not for the fear they strike in people, but for the wonder of the weather phenomena that is occurring out side their double paned windows. This may be from time to time the right way to jump from one scene in a horror movie to the next but please for the love of all that is suspense writing stop trying to get me interested in your book by explaining that Jake was in his million dollar condo while it was storming, I know it's just your way of linking the natural weather with what is happening in Jakes mind and spirit, but stop it. We know from this intro paragraph alone that Jake is either going to blow up his building or do something equally nefarious but really why give it all way on page one, now it's time to skip ahead 200 pages and read the last 3 chapters when all the action takes place and prove that my theory was right. These books I will not enjoy, I may attempt to trudge through them but I will not enjoy them.
I am an avid reader and tend to get through a book quickly if I enjoy it, since my last post I've started into 3 books and I am doing well with them, but what they contain is true mystery, the story is not given away in chapter one, I don't meet all the characters until the book is completed, and my interest isn't even peaked until half way through when all of a sudden I want to finish the book that day.
I may not be a professional critic, but I do know what I like, and hopefully I speak for a lot of people when I say I want a book I can sit down with and read through it with a sense of accomplishment and maybe even an inkling of pleasure in my mind that what I am reading is quite possibly the next treasure of fiction novels. So lets all try to lay off the cliches and 'old time favorite' quotes, this will get readers to promote your book to others.
Sorry if I seem to be venting, but as an aspiring author/teacher/poet or whatever I am at this point, I look for books that grab my attention from page one, not finish the story for me right away. My solution? Get me guessing on who 'Jake is and what his mind set is, what it is he wants to accomplish, good or evil, and make me turn the pages not shut it all together. Here's my alternate first paragraph to the one I made up at the beginning of this post.
Jake walked into his living room inside his downtown Chicago condo with business decisions and life situations weighing heavily on his mind, yet he couldn't get Mildred out of his mind. Mildred was his neighbor, a petite lady with European ancestors, who on seeing Jake always made him feel welcome and cared for, once even taking care of his cat while he was out of town to see family. Mildred was sweet, and this only made the Jakes mind swell with anguish and he could feel his heart begin to pick up pace, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, and what he experienced next came as a surprise to him. The generally stoic Jake, had a flash of emotion, for this employees, his neighbors and for the people of the greater Chicago area. This year, more to the fact, this month would prove to be a changing point in the way things were evaluated and accomplished. Politically, religiously, financially and emotionally, this would be a turning point for all mankind. And Jake was the center point of it all.
Here's what this paragraph does for me. Jake is the center point of what, why is he generally Stoic (tell me about his childhood and early adulthood), why is he having an emotional break for Mildred, his neighbors, employees and people of his city? What will change in the coming month? How did he get where he is, what is going through his mind? Even though I wrote the paragraph, I have so many questions about it and a desire to learn more about Jake and what decisions he has to make.
That's my rant, next time I promise to not be so critical...... maybe
K really, I hate reading books that start with 'It was a dark and stormy night' and yet so many people decide that since this intro worked once maybe twice in all history of fiction, this must be the way to get people drawn into a book. Guess what, it's not. So many people like dark and stormy nights, not for the fear they strike in people, but for the wonder of the weather phenomena that is occurring out side their double paned windows. This may be from time to time the right way to jump from one scene in a horror movie to the next but please for the love of all that is suspense writing stop trying to get me interested in your book by explaining that Jake was in his million dollar condo while it was storming, I know it's just your way of linking the natural weather with what is happening in Jakes mind and spirit, but stop it. We know from this intro paragraph alone that Jake is either going to blow up his building or do something equally nefarious but really why give it all way on page one, now it's time to skip ahead 200 pages and read the last 3 chapters when all the action takes place and prove that my theory was right. These books I will not enjoy, I may attempt to trudge through them but I will not enjoy them.
I am an avid reader and tend to get through a book quickly if I enjoy it, since my last post I've started into 3 books and I am doing well with them, but what they contain is true mystery, the story is not given away in chapter one, I don't meet all the characters until the book is completed, and my interest isn't even peaked until half way through when all of a sudden I want to finish the book that day.
I may not be a professional critic, but I do know what I like, and hopefully I speak for a lot of people when I say I want a book I can sit down with and read through it with a sense of accomplishment and maybe even an inkling of pleasure in my mind that what I am reading is quite possibly the next treasure of fiction novels. So lets all try to lay off the cliches and 'old time favorite' quotes, this will get readers to promote your book to others.
Sorry if I seem to be venting, but as an aspiring author/teacher/poet or whatever I am at this point, I look for books that grab my attention from page one, not finish the story for me right away. My solution? Get me guessing on who 'Jake is and what his mind set is, what it is he wants to accomplish, good or evil, and make me turn the pages not shut it all together. Here's my alternate first paragraph to the one I made up at the beginning of this post.
Jake walked into his living room inside his downtown Chicago condo with business decisions and life situations weighing heavily on his mind, yet he couldn't get Mildred out of his mind. Mildred was his neighbor, a petite lady with European ancestors, who on seeing Jake always made him feel welcome and cared for, once even taking care of his cat while he was out of town to see family. Mildred was sweet, and this only made the Jakes mind swell with anguish and he could feel his heart begin to pick up pace, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, and what he experienced next came as a surprise to him. The generally stoic Jake, had a flash of emotion, for this employees, his neighbors and for the people of the greater Chicago area. This year, more to the fact, this month would prove to be a changing point in the way things were evaluated and accomplished. Politically, religiously, financially and emotionally, this would be a turning point for all mankind. And Jake was the center point of it all.
Here's what this paragraph does for me. Jake is the center point of what, why is he generally Stoic (tell me about his childhood and early adulthood), why is he having an emotional break for Mildred, his neighbors, employees and people of his city? What will change in the coming month? How did he get where he is, what is going through his mind? Even though I wrote the paragraph, I have so many questions about it and a desire to learn more about Jake and what decisions he has to make.
That's my rant, next time I promise to not be so critical...... maybe
Thursday, April 29, 2010
So I begin again
It's been a while since this blog was last touched, actually I had even deleted the blog. Somewhere in the process of trying to keep it up to date with the intention of letting people know what was happening in our Rev. Life youth ministry, I lost the passion to write about anything, I let the lack of followers get to my head, and found myself thinking about why I was bothering with the blog. So I logged on and hit the delete button, and for a season, I was done with the blog.
I'm not sure where but within the season of not blogging I re-developed a passion for both reading and writing. I am surrounded by this library of incredible books on life, leadership, prayer, encouragement/inspiration and various fiction novels as well, and many of them had one or two chapters read and then were put away, dog-eared and collecting dust, nothing like the smell of undeveloped potential behind the covers of those books. My joy of reading turned into a monotonous task that I dreaded, I started to despise the thought of study and learning, even turning away from the fiction novels that I could generally read through in 3-4 days. Everything seemed so frustrating and meaningless, like I was never going to accomplish my goals with these books. And every time someone gave me a new book or I bought a new one myself I had the mind numbing thought of why would you do this. The answer of course, because people know I had once loved to pick up a book and steal from it bits of knowledge and good, flavorful insights from other peoples perspectives on life, sometimes going to the extent of writing out entire paragraphs and posting them on my bulletin board when the author took my imagination and/or spirit in their grasp with witty commentary or a pressing thought that will remain relevant for many decades to come. Today I set my heart to a desire to read once again, yet even as I write those words my desk is littered with partially read books and others that I have the good intention to eventually crack open, knowing they will change my life, even if just pertaining to one area of my thought process or sermon preparation or my personal theology on any given paradigm or sub culture in this world. So as you read this, I have the hope that you find a good book, sit down, open to the first page and commit to reading at least 2 chapters, you never know how much those first few will altar your own perception of reading and learning. That's where I am at with this adventure called reading, a struggle that I can find victory in, and will prosper from.
I also mentioned writing actually thats where this all started, if you'll suffer along with me I'll walk through my dilemma and desire for the next few minutes.
About 9 years ago I expressed to a few select people that I would love to write a book, that thought has never left my mind, I have even started into about 10 different ones not getting much past the introduction or first paragraph many times. I remember a time that I could sit down with a good CD playing in the background and write for hours; poetry, stories, even essays, it always came really easy to me. What seemed to occur was a writers block every time the word book was mentioned. My words would all seem so cliche and the writing would appear to me to be filled with troubles and misinterpreted ramblings, nothing that had the slight resemblance of one day being a book or self help manual or novel that anyone other then my family would read just to support me in my journey. Of those 10 or so books that had been started only one has any remnants on paper and one other is locked away in a rusty box in my head. I suppose these maybe the ones I settle on and eventually rattle them out of my jumbled brain for others to ponder on, maybe.
Over the nearly 8 years of a wonderful marriage my wife has many times encouraged me to start writing again, and every so often I would pick up a pen or type away on the keyboard and do something meaningful, generally after something life changing like the birth of one of my children or the death of a friend or relative. Really the only writing I have committed to in the last 5 years has been ministry related; sermons, curriculum, annual meeting reports so on. Not that I am complaining as this has progressed my ability and functionality as a pastor, but I confess it has also lowered my tolerance for writing, and many well meaning initiatives quickly became unmaintained goals and unreachable plateaus of creativity. One example would be this blog that I have now jumped into again. It began as a weekly update and challenge/encouragement piece for our youth and others that may have stumbled upon it, then weekly became monthly and soon it became an after thought, a grouping of nice thoughts that had been read by a few, and left to die like many other complicated musings others have started in the past. And soon, as I mentioned earlier, it was deleted, the address changed and not restarted here or on other blog sites.
So now I start this blog, not to update the youth ministry and what is happening, but to use it as a place to ramble, vent, discuss and even dream. Yes the name is still the same, Rev. Life is that of our local church youth ministry, but it much more then that as well. It has taken identity in my heart and I am quickly discovering that Rev. Life is a moniker for who I am as a person. I have vowed to live what the term means to me, my life will be; REVerent, REVolving, REVved up and REVolutionary. This blog is me and all that my sometimes scrambled and highly agitated existence represents. I can't promise the updates will happen everyday, and maybe not weekly, but as I am driven to write I will update as often as possible, and some day when the book dribbles from my mind and spirit down through my fingers, those who read here will be among the first to know.
If you have stumbled into this world that is my messy faith and incomplete thought pattern, I hope you enjoy what you read and that you will be challenged to live a fuller, better designed life because of it. I hope you will set out to dream very very large dreams, and that those dreams will be made into reality. And maybe you'll encourage others along the way to live the same way. This is the beginning of one of my dreams, and I thank my wife for reminding me of one of my early passions, writing. This blog and all that may come from it, is because you believe in me and have once again set my mind and heart ablaze with a need to type a few words and make a difference in this world.
Blessings and greatness on each of you, thanks for joining in the discussions of life.
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