Boys need to be boys

As I sat on the couch and watched my older son play with his matchbox cars and pretend he was in the midst of an intense nascar race, I began to contemplate by behavior at his age.  Sitting in the back garden with my GI JOE's, digging them a trench to fight from, enlisting the services of any and all insects in the area to help defeat the evil Cobra forces that were surrounding them.  When suddenly the rain would begin to fall and the only thought on the mind of those action figures was to get to higher ground, so I quickly, with bare hands, began to fling dirt into a make shift ridge that they could climb and fire down upon the enemy, all while fleeing from the oncoming flood from a late summer down pour.  Those were the days of pure adventure, when the only limit to what you could do was how far you allowed your imagination to stretch.  I often wonder where my son is in while his imagination is working overtime.  One moment he could be in a 'three lap race' and the next he is boxing his imaginary opponent.  I try my best to encourage him to think of new scenarios to be played out, and to place himself in the action, thats where the real enjoyment is.  Watching him play has become one of my favorite past times, it's so easy to allow time to slip away when he's laying on the floor with a plastic monster truck in one hand as he runs over the obstacles he has created, which often are his sister's barbie dolls, and he yells out 'watch out for the crusher truck'.  But I am startled by a new thought, as a senior kindergarten student he is one year removed from his teacher asking him to complete an assignment on what he would like to be when he grows up.

There's nothing wrong with this particular process, but my fear is that we as a society are rushing our young children out of their imaginations and into the real world too quickly.  Boy's need to be boy's as long as they can.  I am so encouraged when I see grade 5's and 6's running around in costumes acting silly for the sake of nothing more then some fun, no worry about 'the future' at that moment.  Where I am discouraged is when I have conversations with parents about the need to teach their 6 year old the right way to save money and how to spend money, or why it's wrong to spend so much time on one interest and not broadening the horizons during their free time.  Eventually boys grow out of wanting to play with some toys and they become interested in other things in life, someday they begin to talk about the girl beside them in class and as a parent you wonder 'is it time for the talk'?

For now I want my boy's to enjoy their childhood, because it is so very short, and though I am soon to be 30, I will enjoy it with them, whether it entails watching them from my couch, or rolling on the floor with them, making silly voices and running over barbie dolls with the 'crusher truck'.  Not only will I encourage my boys to remain boys as long as they can, but I think it's far been to long since some of us 'men' have acted as 'boys'.

The perpetual fear is that we will be seen as immature or our friends will poke fun at us for our desire to jump in a puddle, do you remember how much fun this is?  Physically some of us may not be able to do certain activities, but mentally we can still imagine ourselves as captain of the Jolly Roger on our way to stop the evil Duke from claiming the land of our fathers.  Imagination is not only a way to feel young, but it also keeps us mentally fit by allowing our brains to recall various occurrences in life and general history.  Am I made fun of for sitting in a cardboard box as my kids pull me through the house, probably.  Do people ridicule me for finding enjoyment in building a railroad track so I can act out a rescue scene with my kids, in al likelihood yes.  But am I worried about what you think, no.  I'm not worried because you think I am immature and unclassy because my kids for those moments think I am superman, my wife thinks I am an amazing dad and my dog thinks I am a chew toy.  But we all get a laugh out of it and my kids love me for it.

If I am told to grow up I will answer with some sort of sarcastic comment like: maybe when I'm 70.  But the truth is I'll probably be sitting down with my grand kids at that point playing video games.  Come to think of it, maybe we place too much emphasis on 'growing up'.  Yes me need to mature, we need to be responsible and we need to have character and integrity, in short we need to become men.  But the truth is in all men there is a boy, and at some point we all need to be that boy, even as a 30 year old or 70 year old.  Back to the process of the school assignment.  I know when this project comes home we will hear many different answers. I want to be a cowboy when I grow up, or maybe a race car driver, or a doctor, or a pastor or... and the list goes on.  Whatever the answer I will encourage it, but I will also encourage the thought of becoming a good, strong, integrity driven, loving and motivated man.  A man who has a sense of childhood instilled within him.  My hope is that all my kids grow up see their dreams realized, for right now I am content in watching them be kids, and while my boy's are boy's I will be a boy with them.  Maybe it's time we all grew up a little and became better men, by becoming better boys.