Those who are to come

OK maybe not specifically those who are still in the womb and yet to be seen by human eyes, except maybe on those freaky 3D ultrasound photos, but they are included in this post.  On a more general base I am talking about the children who currently run around our houses and schools, right up to the grade 5 level.  These are the individuals that in 20 plus years will be running companies, taking up political office, and will be taking care of their aging parents as we prepare for retirement and hopefully the cottage life.

The upcoming generation is the first in our history that are bombarded with the media image of unhealthy lifestyles being 'normal'.  The teenage generation has been introduced to this image, however they were for the most part not introduced to it from birth.  Yes many of them grew up with the electronic babysitter but many of them did not see what is being toted about as normal to the current children of our world.  Single parent homes, fathers who are not part of the house hold activity, mothers who work midnights so the power company doesn't cut of the hydro, siblings who are losing their hearing from having mp3 players turned too loud.  Then looking outside the family unit they are being shown images of high profile celebrities having multiple affairs, going in and out of rehab and prison, music videos with women being degraded as objects and not a person, and the general idea that it's OK to break the rules because it's better to ask forgiveness then it is permission.  The trouble with the way we are forming the viewpoints of this new generation is the outcome it will have on their lifestyle when they get to my age.

Yes we will have some very successful people rise up from our children, but we will also see the decline of fundamental beliefs, integrity in the workplace and an overall acceptance of being morally corrupt.  Why?  Because we are telling them it is standard procedure to be happy with our own lives and discard the desire to help others who are in need.

I recently made a decision to bless a family close to us with some food, a quality staple of a healthy lifestyle, and someone asked me why I would give away what I paid for to help someone in need.  Last week I took 15 youth and leaders to a restaurant and after the meal we left a 60% tip for the two waitresses that helped us, and I was asked why I would do something like this.  Is this really what we want to teach our children, that we need to always come first and being selfish is the only way to advance in life?  I need to be honest, when I am selfless I am satisfied with my life, when I am all about me I feel horrible, like something has been taken away from me.   Why would I ever want my three kids to grow up and think that hoarding your belongings in such a way that no one else is allowed access to them is acceptable.  I want to teach them that giving is the best way to advance in life, that when you help others be elevated in their lifestyle we can indeed be placed in a level of love and trust that puts us far beyond what any amount of money and possessions can do.

To speak on the appearance of lifestyle I have only a few words, that of course I will expand into a paragraph or two.  Deplorable, dysfunctional and generally confusing.  How many athletes and celebrities have we recently heard about who have had text messages revealed to the press and it destroys a marriage and a family?  How many people in the 'normal' - I say that in quotes because the only difference between us and a celebrity is a few million dollars and a high profile life - walk of life have been found in an affair?  This is acceptable?  What happens in this situation is very sad, a person takes a sacred act, marriage, and event that is supposed to last until death and they place another person in the middle of it, stating to the children - I just needed more then mom/dad could offer me.  No you're just selfish and maybe your communication is that of a 10 year old!  We as a society need to stop pressing this image into our children's minds because if we fail at this we will soon see that the outcome will be marriage expectations changing to include affairs - 'open marriage' - and the success rate of a marriage going below 50%.  Even the image of single people having all these half dressed women and men around them is detrimental to the growth pattern of a child's life.  As a teenager they will use the words "I saw it on TV and in your life so it must be OK for me."  Did you know that the average amount of sexual partners for one person 100 years ago was 1.2.  Today's number - 7 for men and 9 for women. What this means if we take the current accelerated hormone patterns and the way life is being revealed to our children - sex ed. in grade 5 as opposed to grade 8 20 years ago - our children will have 10-15 sexual partners in their life time.

Here's where the life experience in confusing for our children, we have become a nation that is tolerating more and more, so much so that we cannot stand up for what we believe without being accused of hatred and bigotry.  When we as parents can no longer instill in our children what our beliefs are, and hope to raise them according to some moral and social standard then we are failing as a nation and culture to allow every creed and culture to pass on traditions.  Our beliefs are not all the same, but we should be allowed to share them, no?  The problem is we have taken a stance that says your ways are not acceptable because modern society says we have to live this way and your traditions and 'old school' beliefs are not welcome.  Back to the 100 years ago thing -  we used to not see women with skirts that didn't do above the ankle, or a blouse that showed any shoulder at all, and men wore hats, and ties, and they worked hard every day where ever they could find work.  Now our modern culture says we can wear almost nothing and in some places nothing at all and work is a hobby not a need.  I was taught to work hard at anything I did, not to do it half hearted but to give my all, and in school if I failed to complete an assignment I failed it, now we can send our children back with half the work done and not all of that half correct and somehow they pass the assignment.  Can you see why I am confused by the way we are moving in bringing up our children?

I don't mean to be negative about this, I just fail to see the positive side in teaching kids it's OK to not try, it's acceptable to sleep around, and it's more then normal to not care about anyone other then ourselves.  BUT there is a silver lining, though popular culture says life is progressing the way it should, and all the so called 'bad and evil' is actually good for us, we can still live a life of love and compassion for others, we can work hard as parents and teachers and role models, we can have integrity and character and all of this generation will see it and they will say, I want to be like him or her.  Pavel Datsyuk who plays for the Detroit Redwings is known as one of the hardest workers in the NHL.  He is first on the ice for the team, often and hour before anyone else and he is frequently the last to leave.  He has been awarded multiple Lady Byng awards, 4 consecutive for most gentlemanly player, the only player with more total is Wayne Gretzky, who has 5 but only 2 consecutive.  Brooks Laich of the Washington Capitals last year after being eliminated from the playoffs stopped by a car and helped change a flat tire, apologizing to the mother and daughter for not winning the game, and he plays hard in every game, leaving nothing behind.  Why do I mention these two, I could mention many others, but I find in them qualities of character that is sorely missing in the everyday walk of life.  They exhibit a life style that can be taught to my children and I could be proud of them.

This generation of those who are to come have a great advantage over all who have already walked through life, they will be the first to have the opportunity to effect a change in the way others live, to the extent that it will last.  Not just inventions that make life modern and easy to live, they will make a change in the world that will endure the years that try to tear it down.  I have often said that my three children will change the world, they will be history makers, please come along side me and speak that into your child's life, tell them they will do great things, raise them to be men and women of high morals, not compromising because it seems to not matter, raise them to have great character and integrity, that they will stand by their promises and not fold.  Raise them to care for others and not just themselves.  When this is done we will be setting them up for great successes in life, not just half a chance to do something great, but a distinct opportunity to have their names stand in history as people who brought love to a world that so desperately needs it.