Horrible Consistency

That's always been who I am when it comes to things like this.  I start with a great intention to blog about things that come to mind, things that I am processing, events that have effected me, issues in our generations and communities.  Then I get stuck on one random thought and I stop all together.

Why?  Where is is that the battle to stop being lazy when it comes to my form of creativity was lost?  When did I make the jump from motivated blogger to unrealistic expectations and unravelled desires?

This whole situation has me thinking that I should walk away from the keyboard for good, to end the cycle of promises to write more and read more, only to forget or make up an excuse or just not care.

The real problem?  I made a compromise.  I started writing a series of blog on the 4-5 generations I see in life right now.  I got through two of them.  Then I said to myself, "maybe I'll wait and be sure of my statements before I post the next one."  And so it sits unpublished.  Because I want to 'be sure'.

What began as a place to share my thoughts became a slate where I needed to feel like I accomplished something.  I have willing allowed this blog to cancel out my dream of writing just to write.  It has essentially ended my love for this craft.

But maybe that's a good thing.  Perhaps I can get back to what this was originally all about.  Hopefully there is a chance I can turn it all around and make good of all this mess.

With no desire for people to comment, no need for words of accomplishment, no hope for a transcendence to being a publicly published author.

All I want is to write, so that just one person has a positive change in their life.

Is that really so hard to fathom?